I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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