The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
