Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize