You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
