Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
