shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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