You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
