The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
