The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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