Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
