Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
