i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize