in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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