that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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