those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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