He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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