question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
