i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
where are my eyebrows?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
