We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
