I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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