I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
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I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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