I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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