As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
