Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
