I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
