Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
