What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
