Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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