I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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