STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
