I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
