nut hugger
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
