Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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