i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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