WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
