Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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