so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
