Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
