Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
