I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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