i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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