Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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