well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
