no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i love accidental penises.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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