Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize