I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
