i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
