I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
