It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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