Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
