Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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