he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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