I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
