Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
