Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
