You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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