You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
