Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
