We won't sleep together?
I think my vagina is haunted
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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