People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
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