i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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