I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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