Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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