One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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